Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
