"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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