I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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