official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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