fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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