Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
