did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
