omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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