reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
