Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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