I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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