If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You can't just leave with hair like that
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
