I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize