i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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