The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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