they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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