Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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