get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
