You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
