in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
