We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
