The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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