Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
