i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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