i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
