you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
