Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
