I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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