the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
