so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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