You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
