it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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