im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
