I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
