How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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