: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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