I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
