Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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