I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize