I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
