paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
