HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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