Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
