I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
