I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
