Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
