I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
