I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize