just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
