Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
