My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
