Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Actions speak louder than pants.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
