some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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