i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
