did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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