dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
