It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
