you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
