I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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