R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
