This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
