I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
