I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
